Nobody Learned Anything

I was trying to fit my crockpot onto the top of the fridge when down came a toy train. This is a somewhat common occurence in my house so I didn't pay it any mind. James seized it. "This is Max's train," James announced happily. Suddenly I remembered that over a year ago our family went to a friend's Hanukkah party and my oldest son Quincy had stolen my friend's son's steam engine.

Quincy walked into the kitchen, grabbed the train from his brother, and yelled, "Mine!" For the next twenty minutes Quincy and I bickered over stolen property and possession being nine points of the law. Finally I upped the ante with, "What if Max (my friend's son) came to your house and took all of your toys? Would that be okay?"

Quincy promptly loaded many of his toys in trash bag and announced that he did not care if Max took his toys or if the toys went to the trash as long as he got to keep Max's train. Q had doubled down.

Not to be out done by a five year old, my husband Kevin jumped into the fray, "We are driving to Max's house right now and returning his train!" We got dressed. Quickly, Quincy and I fashioned an apology letter that wound up being Quincy's signature, my "I'm sorry," and Quincy's drawing of Max (a possibly naked picture of Max). I added a CD of music from James' baptism to make up for the chipped, stolen train and the nude drawing of their son. We headed over to Ardmore where we completely surprised Rachel, Pat, and Max. Suddenly embarrassed by my devil child, I handed over the bag, apologized profusely, and ran away.

So what was accomplished? Will Quincy be a better person? Has he learned to not steal toys? Are we really going to throw away a big bag of toys that we paid for? I did get my jacket back that I had left at Rachel's house, so that was cool. Max got his train back such as it is. But that was it. Q claims he has given up his life of crime, but he is a stubborn little bugger and I suspect he's faking it. Parenting is just ridiculous. Now what about those toys...